* A special note to any serious Santo fans reading this, the screen caps come from a rare color print, and not the more common B&W version.*
We've reached week 20 and we're back to vampires again. This time out its the titular vampire himself, Dracula, not some lame knock off, or a posse of horny vampire women. That said, Dracula doesn't really pose much of a threat here, as he's seen mostly in an odd sort of prolonged flashback, and he doesn't throw down with Santo until the very end of the movie.
|
Santo sporting yet another turtleneck.
It's a weird sort of tale spun this time out as its leads one to believe it's another Santo fighting a vampire movie, but the first half deals with Santo debuting his new time travel invention. Yup, Santo's not only an inventor now, but he's been tinkering with a massive homemade time machine. Of course the Scientists who his financial sponsor, Dr. Supulveda, gathers for Santo's debut dismiss Santo's ground shaking news. Who would believe a guy in a silver mask when he claims he's perfected time travel? Anyway, Santo's time traveling machine only works by sending someone back into an ancestor's body. So Santo decides to send his new girlfriend Luisa, who is also Dr. Supulveda's daughter, back into her ancestor's body. |
|
Santo's new sidkick really loves his bling.
It's here where the prolonged funky flashback begins. Luisa goes back in time, and somehow Santo, her father, and Santo's new comedy sidekick Perico, are all able to watch this on a TV. Santo's equipment is so fancy, he can even see back in time. It turns out Luisa's ancestors were plagued by vampires, which is where Dracula comes in. Apparently he relocated to Mexico, under the alias "Alucard" with his entire family fortune, and his bevy of hot vampire ladies. They're not enough of course, and he wants Luisa's great great great great grandmother to be his numero uno senorita. |
|
That tricky bastard...
Santo spends a good chunk of the film's run time watching these events unfold on his magic time TV. It makes for a dull movie, as its basically a movie about Santo watching a Hammer movie. There's a half assed attempt to introduce a third party to the storyline, in the form of some masked crook calling himself The Black Hood. The Black Hood conveniently has a professional wrestling son named Atlas, whom Santo conveniently has a match with. The Black Hood's whole motivation is to get his hands on Dracula's treasure. Santo wants to find it in the present day too, partly to distribute the wealth to those in need, but mostly to prove his time machine works. |
|
Santo's idea of a pick up line.
With so many players involved, I expected there to be a three way brawl at the climax, between Santo and his entourage, Dracula and his vampire harem, and the Black Hood and his thugs, but the film never really manages to get all the pieces together properly. There's some funky elements to it, like the way Santo's time machine actually works, which was obviously stolen for the Austin Powers movies. The movie manages to effectively ape Hammer films and even classic universal monster films. There just isn't quite much else to it.
|
|
ENJOYMENT!
|
Two silver masks out of a possible five
Fun Fact: A print of "The Vampire & Sex" was found, which is a softcore porno version of Santo en el tesoro de Dracula. Santo didn't actually participate in any pornographic scenes.
No comments:
Post a Comment